Deep Dive: Do You Have A Poor Relationship With Money?

Money. It's a personal topic that can be especially difficult when you have a poor relationship with it. Money touches every area of our lives from basic survival to relationships, self-worth, recreational time, and whether retirement will ever be possible. It should be viewed as a tool but we tend to view it in a very emotional way.

We live in a society where we are judged for the kind of car we drive and where children are even pressured for the kind of bottle they carry. Advertising is tailor made just for you and delivered to the very device you’re using to read this article. It’s hard to resist temptation.

Does any of this sound familiar? Keep reading for help learning if you have an unhealthy relationship with money. But before we dive into some deep questions, it’s fair to note that not earning enough to meet your basic needs isn’t necessarily a sign of a bad relationship with money. There are many possible factors including low income, rising costs, emergency expenses and the life stage you are in today.

Do you overspend or impulse shop? Everyone overspends occasionally but do you do it every month? Do you shop for entertainment or spend on wants until your bank account runs low? Do you opt for what’s convenient rather than for what’s affordable? Do you crave the thrill of the bargain? If you have plenty of money on payday and are constantly asking where it all went, you may have a spending problem.

Do you avoid looking at your bills or bank balances? It’s a bad sign when you won’t look at your bank balance. Do you have any idea how much debt you incurred during the holidays? If you just kept reaching for your credit card without adding up how much you have spent, this is an unhealthy habit that can leave you digging out of debt for months or years.

Do you pay bills late? Habitually forgetting to pay bills or overspending so you can’t pay them is harmful to your credit and to your relationship with your creditors. Sometimes this is tied to an avoidance strategy. If you answered yes to the question above and can say that you avoid looking at your bills, odds are there’s a risk of paying them late as well.

Do you overdraft your checking account? How many times have you overdrafted your checking account in the last year? When you don’t know how much money you have in the bank, it’s easy to spend beyond your available balance.

Do you compare yourself to others? Believing that you should have what your neighbors have can be dangerous in a lot of ways. It can cause overspending but it can also cause dissatisfaction. There must be something wrong with you if you don’t have a big house or a cool side-by-side for weekend warrior fun. Right? In reality, you don’t know what circumstances have gotten them what they have.

Do you ignore the future? If you make enough to cover living expenses and have some left but are not saving for retirement or for a rainy day, there could be a bigger problem. Are you blowing all your money? Do you just not want to think about the costs that could arise from an emergency or how you’ll afford to live in old age?

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How many of these questions do you find relatable? There’s no shame if you said yes to all of them. It may take some tweaking or even a major overhaul in your thinking and habits but there are ways to mend your relationship with money.

Automate your money – Nothing overcomes the obstacle of avoidance quite like automation. Direct deposit, automatic savings transfers and Bill Pay will help to keep your money on track.
Create a budget – Some people are averse to the B-word but a budget is vital to putting your money to work for you. It helps you know what bills are due when, how much to allocate for savings and what’s left for discretionary spending.
Make a list and stick to it – If impulse spending is your Achilles Heel, planning before shopping is a lifesaver. Make a list of what you’re there to buy and then avoid temptation. If you find something you want that’s not in the plan, sleep on it for a few days before deciding.
Assess your habits – Jot down or enter in your phone’s Notes app every purchase you make. That car wash, candy bar, lunch out, an online order – if you spend money on it - write it down. At the end of the week or month, add up what you spent and think about whether all those purchases were worth the cost. Can you make cuts or alterations?
Do a spending fast – Lots of folks find it useful to do a spending fast of some kind. When you stop buying extras, you’ll start to notice habits and waste and will likely be surprised at how much money you will save in a month.
Remove temptations – For many people, overspending is related to some other habit. Your daily route goes past your favorite store for impulse shopping. You hit snooze too many times and always hit a drive-thru for breakfast. Scrolling social media in the evening relaxes you but you fall prey to targeted advertising. These are things you can easily change.
Forget the Jones’ – Worrying about how you’ll keep up with other people is exhausting and costly. It’s not worth the debt or the stress. Let them live their lives and you can make yours the best it can be for you!